SATYAM- MEVA JAYATE ....

It was 7 Th Jan .... 10:30 in the morning ... i had just completed my morning kriya of brushing my teeth ... when my cell rang .... "Abe news chalu kar jaldi " .... was what the voice of my friend on the other end said .... i thought the india pakistan war had started ... fearing the worst i switched on the TV .....

BREAKING NEWS -- RAJU nahi raha gentleman ..... 7000 crore ka gaban .... Corporate fraud at its worst ..... 53 thousand employees orphaned .... were some of the headlines flashing on various news channels ....

I got dressed and reached office ... the floor looked like a crime scene with PMs and Rms as the FBI and CBI officials and the employees standing as innocent onlookers ..... the employees were on thier phones explaining their relatives that we are not a part of this .... the fraud was commited by one man and not the whole organisation ...

Next was the " ab kya karenge ,humara future toh barbaad ho gaya" phase ... everyone was contemplating alternate career options ... some of them were --

1.Workin in MAYTAS infrastructure as the crane operator ,cement mixer or a mason.
2.Workin with the municipal corporation as a traffic constable .
3.Working as a female swimming instructor ...
4.Delivering washed clothes for the local dhobi.
5.Opening a idly vada stall in partnership .....

Well the night was even worse ... evry1 at the room was hooked to aajtak news ...watching the downfall of our own company ... i was having this recurring dream of my kid sporting a tatoo of
" mera baap ek satyamite tha " ..... every satyamite was being looked on a a fraud ,cheat and a moneyswindler .....

Well the next day it was as if SATYAM was a shirt on a dicount sale at the local shopping centre ... even companies like jignesh software , kishore solutions and other 2 room companies were vying to buy satyam ... but nothing like that happened .... at the office people were in a more positive mind ... we thought this was the company which has given us so much ...... You dont abandon your parents or grandparents when they grow old ... so everyone was advised to continue working normally ...

We thought when we recover this would be the best comeback stories of corporate india .... we could tell our children we were part of this historic comeback ....

Thus we are still trying hard to keep the satya alive in satyam ....... and will continue to do so ...
"SATYAM-MEVA JAYATE"

Jalsa with Salsa

From childhood ive always wanted a real hobby . I have always lied on my CV, in interviews and on social networking sites about my hobbies. Collecting stamps ,coins and reading books have been the most popular ones ,whereas the thruth is ive never even used a stamp on an inland letter and the only books i might have read are Balbharti and champak comics.



On a fine friday evening when we were out buying weekly ration like homely housewives , a small boy handed me a leaflet ....... Bangalore SALSA -- Rs1200 /- per month ... no need of a partner ...... it read ...... this was a god sent signal for me to fulfill my lifelong dream of having a hobby ... SALSA .......

The next Saturday i put on my best shirt and jeans and set out to pursue my dream .... but i couldnt muster up the courage to go and register ... i guess i thougt this dance was for the rich nd famous... nd the only place i had danced was on ganapati visarjaan or on nasik dhol at the garba night ..... it would be like govinda dancing in a beyonce music video .....

Well after 2 nariyal paanis nd a plate of sev poori ... i thought well i cant swim without entering into water .... so i went up and registered ..... the crowd consisted of fluent english speaking, chewing gum chewing babes and studs ..... even the gatekeeper asked me in fluent english what i was lookin for .... embarresed i replies in broken english and found my way ....

Finally the class began ... and my worst fear came true .... the guys : girls ratio was 7:5 so 2 guys would not have partners ... and i was one of them ..... i cursed my stars for such rotten luck .... but then the trainer instructed to change partners and i heaved a sigh of relief .... in the beginning holding a girls hand felt awkward in a nice way .. but soon it was sweating and now it felt awkward in a wierd way ....

After dancing quitely with most of the girls .. i finally asked a girl -- "whats your name ?" ... she replied and asked ... "whats yours .. ??" .. i replied and then there was a long silence ..... u studyin or workin ? where are you from ? do u like coffee ? ... these were the questions i should have asked but the only thing that came out of my mouth was a sneeze ... i totally choked like the indian cricket team does in a series finale .... well that was my last chance to strike a conversation and i sneezed on it .... i had to dance quitely lookin at the cieling fan for the rest of the class .....Well even after all these award winning blunders ... i enjoyed the whole experience .. this was my first and only genuine hobby ......

After 3 trail classes they informed me they will be collecting the fees in the next class... and i havent returned since .. well i think now i have learnt enough to be a participant in the next season of nach baliye ;-) .......

The SIX pack dream ....

My roommate bought this months issue of Mens Health today ... seeing the model displaying a chess board below his chest made me think of my amoeba shaped body ... removing my shirt i stood in front of the mirror .... my torso looked like a meat piece hanging on the butchers shop ....the models body had a V-shape ... well my body could be described as an "O" of the english alphabet .... after subjecting my roomies to this horrifying view of my well carved ,chiselled and algae shaped pot belly i was made to put my shirt on ....

We all decided to hit the gym with full enthu ..... but what abt the fees ?? ... the solution ... the AUDUGODI gym .... Fess 300 rupees per month. ... the recession proof gym ...
the Crowd consisted of the whos who of the working class community ... Cab drivers ... the butchers ... the dobis et all ..... the only female found on the gym floor -- the lady who came to sweep the floor ... it was kinda nice ... improved our focus on the excersises...


The Rules -- no footwear inside the gym ... no deodrants inside .... no stealing the dumbells ...no revelaing attire ... well sometimes even men can expose unwanted skin on the gym floor ....



Our instructor -- Malli pronounced -- MALLL -eee ...was a small guy at 5ft 3 inches but a tough taskmaster ... he had the superpower to bend our body into all kind of weird shapes just by counting 1,2,3 ,4...5 ,6 .... saavaan (7) ...... well we were subjected to heavy duty push ups , chin-ups etc. ... the 1st 2 days were fun the third day we cud barely lift the spoon to feed ourselfs ...


We had learnt our lesson .... we formed a law in our room ... no one will ever buy another issue of the Mens healh magazine ... thus saving us the shame of feeling disturbed abt our body ...

We Vs The NIFTY ....

NIFTY -- can be compared to a to be bride who is choosing her wedding outfit ... not even she herself can predict what she will finally wear ...

So here we were hoping against hope that we could predict her (the NIFTY's) next move .... but we soon realised playing against her was like playing against venus williams in tennis or racing against michael schumacher in F1 ... you always ended up standing on the 3rd position on the podium ... but still we wanted to learn it the hard way ...

Before revealing more about our glorious journey to bankrupcy... let me take a Small Detour to give u a brief idea about the 3 novice investors in our room nd thier special characteristics -->
1. The Go -getter --> this specimen is not afraid of the word loss .... nd will invest in the market even if the world is suffering from a nuclear holocaust .....
2.The naptol guy --> this specimen will do a risk analysis even if he wants to cross the road .... he will put even the 5 paisa profit he earns into a Fixed deposit jsut to be safe .....
3.The" i thought i did it right but i dont know what went wrong " guy ---> Lets just say if this guy predicts something , the right thing to do is follow the opposite ....

So all 3 of us endowed with our unique superpowers started doing a detailed market analysis on the economic deficit and the global GDPs with the bulls and bears utilizing the premiums of the balance sheets of the foriegn investors.... sorry for the vocabulary overdose ... got a little carried away with the financial lingo .....In short after having surveyed the market and invested , we were very confident that we will make profits but the very next day our bank accounts were 10 K rupees lighter .....

All 3 specimens together with thier superpowers could not tame the NIFTY .....

We had learnt our lesson .... so we decided never to turn on NDTV profit again and be happy with our meagre but consistent salaries that our company paid us .....